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Gimme a break

Discussion in 'Off Topic Discussion' started by Ranger SVO, Dec 6, 2007.

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  1. Ranger SVO

    Ranger SVO Full Member

    Did I die and go to hell?

    Our secretarywho was quite good looking had to leave due to health issues. She was a lovely and smart lady. I really miss her.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    and she was replace with something that looks like this

    [​IMG]

    OK she's Fat, she's Ugly and she scares the customers. And she stinks.

    So how did she get hired, I DONT KNOW. The first two days at work she just stared at the computer Key Board. She had no Idea what to do with it.

    But I figure out how she got hired. Apperently the owner is sleeping with her. Oh My God, how desperate can one man be. Its sickening.

    I found out when I told her she was ugly (I am an honest person) and the owner yelled at me for an hour. I mean he was screaming Incoherently. One of the installers "D" also quit talking to me, he is sleeping with her too. They trade. its an every other weekend thing. I have to throw up

    I'm in hell. Sorry guys, I had to vent. We need an Venting Thread
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2007
    Ranger SVO, Dec 6, 2007
    #1
  2. pedro quiroga

    pedro quiroga Well-Known Member

    your joking right?
     
    pedro quiroga, Dec 6, 2007
    #2
  3. Ranger SVO

    Ranger SVO Full Member

    No I'm NOT, this is for real.
     
    Ranger SVO, Dec 6, 2007
    #3
  4. pedro quiroga

    pedro quiroga Well-Known Member

    oh.....i had to ask because of the pic.it looks like its from a website.not your camera.
     
    pedro quiroga, Dec 6, 2007
    #4
  5. Ranger SVO

    Ranger SVO Full Member

    It is from a website. I refuse to take a picture of it and post it. Oh My God, I might get banned from this site if I did.

    The picture is just an example of what I am seeing every day. God Help me.
     
    Ranger SVO, Dec 6, 2007
    #5
  6. pedro quiroga

    pedro quiroga Well-Known Member

    oh i see...that bad huh.

    find a happy place,find a happy place,find a happy place
     
    pedro quiroga, Dec 6, 2007
    #6
  7. aznboi3644

    aznboi3644 Full Member

    damn...the last secretary was f'n hot.

    Ranger...I'm sorry to hear the bad news.

    Also I really like that custom computer desk in the first pic
     
    aznboi3644, Dec 7, 2007
    #7
  8. G3n3R@1

    G3n3R@1 Full Member

    wow im sorry man. I have ALOT of pity for u lol anything you can do?
     
    G3n3R@1, Dec 7, 2007
    #8
  9. Ranger SVO

    Ranger SVO Full Member

    And it gets worse.

    We will call the new secretary Fannie ( for her really large behind). One of her many boyfriends borrowed her car and threw a rod in it.

    The Shop BOUGHT HER A New SUV. Oh my God. People I'm not kidding. He bought her a car. Now he had to get her an SUV. You see her butt is kinda big. She could not get it into a Ford Focus or a Toyota Camry. (unless she went in Butt first)

    I never worked anywhere, where they bought me a car, what the hell.

    Now in all fairness, the owner and the installer "D" deny sleeping with her. They don't wanna let everyone know how DESPERATE they really are. But then if I was sleeping with her I would deny it and consider suicide.

    I have a time card, I have to clock in and out. She doesnt, heck she don't even have a time card

    Life sucks.

    She smells bad too.

    Let the fat jokes begin
     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2007
    Ranger SVO, Dec 7, 2007
    #9
  10. G3n3R@1

    G3n3R@1 Full Member

    yo secretary so fat she has little secretaries orbiting her!
     
    G3n3R@1, Dec 7, 2007
    #10
  11. Ranger SVO

    Ranger SVO Full Member

    Yo secretary is so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...

    The owner and "D" should know

    Yo secretary is so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay
     
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2007
    Ranger SVO, Dec 7, 2007
    #11
  12. electrolytic

    electrolytic Full Member

    lol, some good ones here..

    when she step on the Weight Scales it says...'to be continued'...

    she once went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food she ate it!

    folk exercise by jogging around her!

    when she bends over, we enter Daylight Saving Time.

    she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy

    she make Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie

    NASA plan to use her to shore up the hole in the Ozone layer

    she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm...

    small objects orbit her.

    she make olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic.

    when I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

    when she farted she launched herself into orbit.

    she lost a game at Hide&Seek only cos I spotted her...behind Mount Everest.

    when I had to swerve to avoid hitting her on the road I ran out of Petrol!

    she could be the eighth continent.

    she nearly put Safeway out of business

    the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.

    her Uni graduation photo was an aerial

    when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.

    she make Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.

    her fave food is seconds.

    her belt size is Equator.

    she eats Desert out of a Trash Can lid

    she wears an 'X' jacket and Copters attempt to land on her

    she shows up on radar.

    she needs a map to find her butt.

    she fell into the Grand Canyon....and got stuck!

    she wears an asteroid belt.

    her Passport photo says 'Picture is continued overleaf'

    she has TB ... 2 bellys.

    she's once, twice, three times a lady.

    she was in the Daily Record last week on page 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.

    the circus use her as a trampoline

    stunt agencies use her as an air mattress

    when she opens the Fridge it says - 'I give up...'

    she got a new gig at the Cinema...she works as the screen

    she once told me 'I could eat a horse'...believe me, she wasn't kidding!

    she deep fries her toothpaste.
     
    electrolytic, Dec 7, 2007
    #12
  13. pedro quiroga

    pedro quiroga Well-Known Member

    when she jumps up.....she gets stuck.
     
    pedro quiroga, Dec 8, 2007
    #13
  14. sl0wm03

    sl0wm03 Full Member

    Get her a bus.
     
    sl0wm03, Dec 8, 2007
    #14
  15. Fiberglass

    Fiberglass Guest

    guys iam new to the site but he aint kidding
     
    Fiberglass, Dec 11, 2007
    #15
  16. electrolytic

    electrolytic Full Member

    lol, welcome! At least she's not his boss! She'd be like, Ranger, go get me some cupcakes.
     
    electrolytic, Dec 12, 2007
    #16
  17. Ranger SVO

    Ranger SVO Full Member

    He should know, he works with me. He is the one that did the kick panels in the "the Insanity has Begun" thread.

    The owner had a computer problem yesterday. He ask me to look at it. I laughed and suggested that our "Qualified" secretary fix it.

    She called in sick today. Sores in the mouth, serious thats what she said.

    Today will be a good day

    Give her another month or two
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2007
    Ranger SVO, Dec 12, 2007
    #17
  18. aznboi3644

    aznboi3644 Full Member

    haha...sores in the mouth???

    she get beat with an ugly stick as a child or what??
     
    aznboi3644, Dec 12, 2007
    #18
  19. G3n3R@1

    G3n3R@1 Full Member

    naw i think ranger's co-workers that are gettin busy with her have some explainin to do
     
    G3n3R@1, Dec 12, 2007
    #19
  20. pedro quiroga

    pedro quiroga Well-Known Member

    maybe she just has a magical va......!........you know.lol
     
    pedro quiroga, Dec 12, 2007
    #20
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