Every mechanic uses a set list of words to describe a particular situation that sound one way or another. I figured I would let you guys see the actual meanings. Note: all of this is for comedic value. First a few misconceptions Yes we do steal your change, the pop machine doesn't take dollar bills anymore. I AM out to get you by charging you for pesky unneeded items. such as brake fluid for bleeding the brakes, air doesn't compress right? I am rolling in the dough. the fact that I eat ramen every day just so I can afford the payment on my tools is for nothing more than fun. A few things about mechanics Don't touch our tools without asking We value them more than YOUR life Put them back in the proper place We spend more on tools than most spend on mortgage payments every month contrary to our attitudes we got into this field because we like to help people and be appreciated... Scratch that last one, we ENJOY being treated like dirt. Don't buy a car owned by a mechanic, most of the items are held on by gorilla glue or jb weld. Because we fix your cars all week we don't want to spend our time fixing our cars. us: Are you going to be waiting for our oil change? you: Yes Us: Ok we will have that done for you asap Ustrue Thought) G**D D****T now I cant take my sweet A"" time you: hi I have such and such vehicle I was just calling to check up on the progress Yeah: we have the problem figured out and have ordered parts, we are just waiting on parts. Real meaning: We ordered parts, we either have them right now and are too lazy to put them in, or we really are waiting on parts. The former is usually reserved for those people who say "no hurry" You: Hi I am calling to check up on my vehicle. Us: Let me put you in touch with our head mechanic, he handles all of these calls. US: We have some very bad and potentially expensive news, and I don't want to be the one to deal with you because I know you won't get what I'm saying. You: Hows it going? Us: We have the problem narrowed down, and are just trying to pinpoint it. Us: We have no flipping clue, we are contemplating taking your car and pushing it off of a cliff. You: Almost have it done? US: Yeah just finishing up US: What the heck you said 3:45 and it's noon, I just got it tore apart and I am supposed to be on lunch break now. To remedy this situation one would come over and say that the part still hasn't come in yet, and won't be here till about 2 or so. What we are really saying is: You came early so don't expect it to be done, we have been here since 6:30 am and am running on a few cups of coffee and donuts, I haven't used the bathroom and now you show up and expect it done! I'm hungry, and if you wan't to keep your hand you will go find a way to entertain yourself for a few hours. Things never to say to a mechanic if you ever want to see your car again Take your time: To us this means that this car is not your main mode of transportaion, meaning we can push it in and out of the shop when we have free time Consider it a project: Yeah no, nothing that rolls into this shop is a project. This is more for comedic relief over anything else, and if we were to be dishonest or more correctly stretch the truth, which actually happens very infrequently in our shop we use a different set.
